Whenever a person forces himself/herself on you sexually without your consent, this can be considered sexual assault or rape. Even if you’re married to or in a relationship with the person who is assaulting or raping you, this doesn’t make it any less “real.”
Sexual assault within a relationship is not uncommon. One national study from 1997 found that 34% of women were victims of some type of sexual coercion (including rape and other acts) by a husband or intimate partner in their lifetime (1). Another national study from 2010 found that 9.4% of women have been raped by an intimate partner in their lifetime, and an estimated 16.9% of women and 8.0% of men have experienced sexual violence other than rape by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime (2). Other studies reveal that women had unwanted sex with a current spouse or partner because they thought it was their “duty” (43%), after the partner begged and pleaded with them (26%), and after their partner said things to bully them (9%) (2). Please know that you have the right to say “no,” even to your spouse or intimate partner, and you have the right to expect that s/he listen to you and not intimidate you or otherwise coerce you into consenting.
(1) Kathleen C. Basile, Prevalence of Wife Rape and Other Intimate Partner Sexual Coercion in a Nationally Representative Sample of Women, 17 Violence and Victims 511 (2002) - abstract available here.
(2)Center for Disease Control, National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey - Executive Summary (2010)
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